Mothering Love for even a Grumpy Mother

Today my heart swells with family love, the beautiful cards and gifts I received from my loved ones have really made my day.

 

 Below is a card which is especially sweet for me as my 4 year signed his name, he's only just discovering writing can be fun, refusing to even try in the past.

And this a lovely portrait of me drawn by my 6 year old that came with a lovely poem on the back.

Mothers Day. It's Mothers Day hip hip hooray

They've done lots of work so must be worn out

They've worked really hard and done cleaning and shopping

Our Mums are so special to us and caring for us

They are so nice and lovely, happy and sometimes sad

Sometimes they are grumpy and that's why I love her so much.

Happy Mothering Sunday.

Guilty as charged.

When I first told people I was pregnant with Maisie I was amazed at the information, books, personal stories and hearsay everyone to pass on. Some of these were most welcome, however a lot was very outdated (well maybe not!) and dangerous.  The one thing I was never told was about the guilt, in fact that doesn't do it justice, THE GUILT. It starts from the moment you find out of course; like "oh I wish I hadn't that glass of wine when I was 2 weeks pregnant" to "I'm destroying my children's lives by not affording that toy", well I never said THE Guilt was reasonable.
Now I like to think I'm a laid back parent, I took in all the advice, books etc and then mostly did my own thing.  The times when I listened to others such as trying he Contented Baby book (it was thrown over my wall onto train tracks) or getting Maisie separate jabs because of MMR worries, left me stressed even more that I was failing as a Mother. I know this seems like a rant, and well it is because I'm sure it's not just me who feels THE GUILT, but today I saw this article http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-12180052 all about how we've yet again been doing it all wrong.
When I had Maisie I was told not to wean her till 6 months and that I must exclusively breastfeed her till 6 months(you were made to feel very bad if not yet more guilt, now as she was 9lb 6oz at birth by 3 months she was starving I just couldn't feed her enough, my heath visitors advice - get her on milky weetabix and porridge, ignore all books and go with your instinct. Maisie as thrived ever since, but what about her brother Lucas, a little wee thing of 6lb 10oz, he didn't want to entertain solids till after 6 months, so have I destroyed his life? I think not. I think that I followed my instincts and needs of my child, rather than being dictated to and knowing this means I will not let myself feel THE GUILT over this subject, I did what was right for each of my children.

However just as I start to feel on top of motherhood let me tell you of a conversation I had with Maisie on the way to school.
Mummy: Oh dear I forgot to put your gloves in your bag.
Maisie: Oh dear, you're not a very good Mummy are you?
THE GUILT returns....


Is it me or does everyone feel it? Hugs to parents everywhere, you're doing a great job.
Happy weekend
Amanda.x.

Too cool for school.

Sorry for the bloggy gap but I've getting my head round Maisie's first couple of weeks at school, I'd taken a couple of weeks of work so I could be home for her, but it was a shock how much I worry about her while she's at school.  

I don't think that is anything to do with her however, Maisie is a tough cookie who takes everything in her stride, and has been at nursery while I go to work.  The only wobble she had was on the 4th morning when she asked where am I going tomorrow? when I explained "school again Sweetie" all I got was "school again I've been there loads already". 

No I think my worry stems from my unhappy school days, I all ways felt like an outsider, had few real friends(although I still have the same ones) and was bullied, I worry constantly about these things for Maisie, I'm sure I'm not the only mother to think about it though, and not all my school days were bad but when you send your child off in the morning it's the bad ones you remember. 

Maisie is already coming back being rewarded House points for good conduct and telling me about her friends, so I think she'll take after my sister Barbara in school and be Awesome Girl(more about sis in a later post) and I couldn't be happier about that.

Lucas & Maisie on her first day, he really misses his big Sis when she goes to school but his talking is coming on leaps and bounds now he can get a word in edgeways.

My beautiful Maisie looking very grown up, Love you Sweetie.

Amanda.x.