If wishes were horses... #BEDM

I'm currently sat in my favourite coffee shop, contemplation a wish list, we all have them. Wish list of clothes we want, things we need, places to see, things to do by a certain age. 

While thinking these things and looking for my phone I find a 2 week old lottery ticket in my bag, we've all done it, bought one and not got it checked, Oh I may have been a millionaire for weeks and not known. So instead of usual wish lists I day dream of my millionaire list. If I had the money, what would I wish...

1. Family.

I've always wanted a big family, and imaged I'd have 4 children one day, but really money is a factor. I want my children to do things I never got the chance too, we were always worried about money growing up.

I want my children to appreciate what they have but I don't want to have 3 jobs to keep enough food on the table when I could be spending that time with them. However with a lottery win I'd like to think we'd grow our family, I always wanted to look into adoption and giving other children a better life too, maybe I'd have my big family that way.

I'd of course share my wealth with family and friends, making sure their dreams came true, that they had lovely homes to live in, I must have won several millions mind because have you seen the price of houses these days. 

                                 

2. Dream home in Cumbria, I really do love it here it's perfect. 

A small holding based in the Cumbrian countryside with fields, woods, a stream, animals, greenhouse, self sufficient, eco friendly, full of family and fun times. 

3. Own my own shop. 

As you'd be bored right, after running a huge house and family? 

I've always wanted my own shop, a crafty place to be a social hub for creative folk. All crafts, a place for people to showcase their makes, mixed with geekery and business support for new start ups. 

Several floors of gallery space, workshops, installations, sewing machines, potters wheels, oh the possibilities are endless. 

A place like that existed once in Carlisle and I was lucky enough to be part of it for a while, but as usual for creative businesses money became to much of a stranglehold, but not for me the lottery millionaire. 

Here I come to a stop, really as a millionaire that's all I'd want. There'd be travels around the world of course, cool cars(vintage) big celebrations, cool clothes and gadgets but really when you come down to it, that's just STUFF. 

My true wishes are *FAMILY*HOME*JOB* and really do I need to be a millionaire to wait to get the things I want, I may not have an unlimited income(unless that ticket really is a winner-doubtful) but I have a loving family, a roof over my head and a job. That's more than most people in this world, everything from here can be improved on and worked at so maybe I will just get my wishes but not by some fabled lottery win but by actual hard graft, determination and maybe some luck.

If wishes were horses, beggars would ride. 

My Nana used to say this whenever I asked for everything and a cherry on the top, it's part of a nursery rhyme about getting what you work for, rather than just making wishes.  

So let's get to work.

National Poetry Day

What's your favourite poem?

Amanda.x.

6 years, too soon.

The years have gone too fast, it seems no time at all since you were a babe in my arms and now look at the little lady you are, six today.
Bookworm, friend, big sister, pouter, creative, smiler, tea drinker, cake baker, fearless climber, artist, sulker, animal lover, you are my wobbly toothed beautiful, amazing girl. The world is a greater place for you being in it, and I can't wait to see you grow into a great lady. Just not too fast.

Love you Maisie, my baby girl.

A New Addition

Welcome to our household Buffy, no not the slaying kind (well maybe to small creatures) the feline one.

 My friends Mum has been ill recently, and Buffy is her cat. We've adopted her for now, and she's settled so well into our household. 

Although does not like her picture taken, does she not realise she's in a blogging household? 

The kids love her, learning not to chase, how to stroke a cat nicely and how brush her correctly. 

It's a great part of growing up having pets to care for and be gentle with.

 Buffy however in usual Cat ways has made everything around her, her domain.  As above it would seem a  cuddly Lima felt the wrath of her paw. 

Amanda.x.

December 1st - So it begins.

 Merry December 1st, in my house this is officially the start of Christmas in that the decorations begin to appear around the house. Hubby doesn't like it looking too Christmassy so early, so I tend to start with just a few pieces and build up until Tree time.

I've had these tiny silver angels for a few years bought from a little gift shop in Carlisle, their little metal bodies shine against the lights.

 My crocheted snowflakes, I have a few of these in various sizes so they tend to appear and move around normally ending up on the Tree.

 This year is the first year that we've had a fireplace, which is wonderful.  I've found the children looking up it with my sons Thomas the Tank Engine Torch, to see if they though Santa would fit down, they're still not sure that he would and have decided he'd probably come in the front door using his magic key,like in our other house(oh the lies we tell).

 Maisie and I spent today making paper chains, I wanted to do Christmas crafts and focus on making things for Christmas rather than everything being bought, my Mum still has things we made as children and it gives me a really warm feeling when I see them at this time of year. I bought these paper chains from Marks and Spencer for £3.50, I could have cut the paper out and got some pritstik but she was too impatient and  wanted to be making, it's rare at this time of year to get time together to just enjoy a simple thing like that so I wasn't going to argue.

 These are my new Christmas lights, waiting to go on the Tree I love the green/blue colours. Behind is the children's Playmobil calender, they have a chocolate one too but I liked the idea of them building up a winter scene which they could get out each year.  

Have you started your Christmas build up yet, or are you a last minute person?

Love Amanda.x.

Lucas David Ryan-A birth story.

Today is my son Lucas' birthday, he has turned 3 or in his words "Big Boy now" and this is his birth story.

When I found out I was pregnant for the second time I was excited but also full of worry.  

However these are normal worries, and my pregnancy went great to start with, but it also felt completely different  I wasn't sick just felt it, I ached all over, felt grumpy and was exhausted constantly.  

I joked that I must be having a boy, as it was causing me trouble already.  

At my 20 week scan it turned out I was right.

We went through the usual processes at this time, thinking of names (I'm a One Tree Hill fan, shh don't tell Stuart), trying to explain to Maisie why Mummies tummy was getting bigger, trying to sell our house upon the realisation that a small 2 bed house maybe a tight squeeze(we managed there for another 3 years) and figuring out how money would stretch.

However another problem began that made these issues pale in comparison, at a routine midwife meeting at about 6 months they measured my bump as usual but it was coming up too big. I worried my baby would be huge as Maisie was no small potato at 9lb 60z , and your second is meant to be bigger.

I gave extra blood samples and was booked in for another appointment a week later. However at that appointment with a different midwife I measured small, very small. Much confusion followed, they got a second midwife to measure me, I was told to go for a walk and come back to do it all again, it was still small. 

The midwife took blood samples and I was booked in for a scan at hospital.

I was about 7 months pregnant when I had my next scan, it was lovely to see my little child on the screen again and to me he looked just fine, but no the hospital said he seemed too small, I was devastated and blamed myself, it must have been that glass of wine I had or not eating the right foods.

So many ways to blame yourself.

I was sent for a blood cord scan in the maternity unit a week later, where the midwife told me me everything was okay, and although my baby looked skinny he was in fact lanky and was looking grand and made me another appointment at scanning unit for 2 weeks later, told me not to worry and sent me on my way.

Ahh big sighs of relief, until at that scan I was told yet again that my baby was going to be small, I'd planned a home birth but was advised that I would be unsuitable as baby would probably need an incubator. They had no conclusions as to why he was small, I was still exhausted all the time (ahh you see it all so clearly in hindsight) but trying to eat right and rest even with another child to chase round. I was sent for another cord scan, cord and placenta was fine, midwife told me she didn't understand what they were talking about, yes my bump was measuring small but on the scan Lucas measured up fine. We were left not knowing what to believe. We had two different departments telling us two different things, and no one else to turn too.    

The consultants I saw recommended I was induced as they felt something was hindering his growth but couldn't figure out what, and he's grow better on the outside. His was the thing I dreaded yet again an other induction, a forced birth but this time with a baby that they said would be about 41/2-5 lbs max.

My induction went exactly as it did with Maisie, a long drawn out process to speed up a birth unnaturally, great fun, not. I did feel more in control this time though, and felt more confident to move birth positions. The whole process, started at 2pm was done by 8.30am the next morning.

I'm very grateful for my lovely midwife who knew I wanted out of hospital after the birth as quick as possible, so when I was in the last stage and completely lost it begging for pain relief just nipped my leg and told me I'd feel better, I did, I thought I'd had diamorphine. 

 Lucas was born 2 minutes later and I wasn't knocked out with drugs, I was wide awake and feeding what turned out to be a 6lb 11oz lanky boy, I wonder how big he would have been had he had 2 more weeks inside.

I really wished the midwife's years of experience was taken over the judgement of a consultant.  

I didn't care I had my beautiful baby, who was safe and well and I was introducing him to Maisie 3 hours later while having bacon butties at my in laws. Look at those skinny long legs.

 About 3months after his birth I went to my GP, I was still exhausted I know 2 children, family and home to deal with, but I just didn't feel right. She checked my notes and the first question she asked was what iron supplements are you taking? Well none I said, she disappeared into her notes again. Apparently the last tests taken at the midwife clinic showed I was very low in iron(the hospital had never received these results) but previous tests showed I was fine so they went on these results.  I was never asked for more. My levels were that low she was surprised I'd not been required to go to hospital, she was really shocked to find I'd given birth while that anaemic, she gave me iron tablets and felt grand and strong again in a matter of days.  I wish this problem had been sorted earlier, maybe I'd have had a whopper of a boy, maybe I'd have felt stronger and more positive in my post pregnancy period.
However I can't complain, look at my beautiful boy, he's amazing and I'm thankful he joined my family.

I love you Lucas.x.

From Mummy.

Not all pregnancy's have a happy outcome.  I was reminded of this when Stuarts cousin lost her unborn baby girl at 9months, the sadness of this event and the effect it will have on their lives is truly heartbreaking, nothing will ever make up for their missing child.

 However there are ways to support the families who go through this loss, Sands is a stillbirth and neonatal death charity, giving support to those affected by the death of a child, helping health professionals offer correct support and researching the causes of stillbirth.  

It gets no government support, relying on just donations to keep this amazing group going. 

Mia Giggle's page is here if you wish to donate http://www.justgiving.com/miagiggle

Thank you.x.

Remember Remember....

Bonfire Night in Carlisle 

Every year Carlisle holds a huge Bonfire and Fireworks show, it's become very famous with people travelling the country to come and see it.  Over the past few years we've missed it, mostly due to having very small children who don't like being cold or loud bangs.  

This year however my daughter Maisie really wanted to go, she was a little worried about how loud it would be, but decided with a big hat to cover her ears we'd be fine. 

She's five now, and really enjoys having a late night, it's an exciting change for her.

 However the weather had different ideas for the evening, a thick blanket of fog descended  upon Carlisle, above is the childrens play park which Maisie thought was brilliant to play on in the spooky fog.

 The bonfire started which looked magical  through the tree line, however adding smoke to the fog just turned the whole sky a bright orange, meaning the fireworks just matched the background.

 Can you spot the fireworks? Luckily we could see a few, better than the camera picked it up.

Maisie and I had an awesome night, drinking hot chocolate and cuddled up in the dark. 

 I think she really enjoyed the event, she loved that we were out really late and we celebrated with late night chips on the way home like all nights out should end.

Hope your Bonfire weekends were safe and fun filled.

Amanda.x.

Happy Samhain

Samhain is another name for Halloween, the word means Summer Sunset or Summers End

Our pumpkin, carved by my lovely Husband Stu.

Before the fancy dress, sweet sellers and merchandisers got hold of this day it was traditionally celebrated as a harvest festival, and a way to  honour the dead. It was the time when you choose which livestock to kill and did a stocktake of the grains store, and then beginning of Winter. Traditional feast were had using seasonal foods,of beets, apples, corn, nuts, pumpkins, cider, mulled wines and gingerbreads. A table place was often set for departed loved ones, and they were toasted, made part of the proceedings.

Being close to the Scottish Border means a lot of their strong Celtic customs are kept here too. When I was little we carved a Turnip, a tradition from Jack of Lantern and then went out Guising in a handmade costume around our small village, I remember being given fruit and money but never sweets.

Another custom was to divine your future Husband, I remember my Nana trying to show me one Halloween.  You were meant to peel an apple all in one long peel, think of your future Husband and throw the peel over your shoulder, and it would spell the First letter of his name. I suppose in my case it did, as it always just looked like an S to me.

These days Halloween in Britain is hot on the heels of the Americans, the traditions that British travels took over there have be changed and sent back. But I think it's still important to remember it's roots in The Harvest.

So today to celebrate Samhain, I made Damson Gin, Pumpkin Soup and Roast Pumpkin Seeds, as well as dressing up my children and giving out sweeties.

Pumpkin Soup 

Ingredients: Big Pumpkin(fleshy big)

2 chopped large onions

4 chopped carrots

2 cloves of garlic 

2 pints of veg. stock

Mustard seeds, cinnamon, turmeric 1 tablespoon each

Splash of milk(or substitute)

Olive oil

Take one lovely fat pumpkin. Take out seedy gloop but don't throw away, place it in a bowl for later. Using a metal spoon or ice cream scoop, scrape out the pumpkin flesh. This way you have a thin shell left to carve.

Heat oil and sauté onions, add garlic and spices and stir through the onions. Add pumpkin and carrots, muddle with spices and onions. Add the veg stock and boil for 20 minutes, then simmer till veg is soft.

While simmering add the milk to give creamed appearance, and using hand blender give it all a whizz.

Hmm, yummy soup.If you like spice you can add chillies at the beginning with the onions. 

Add salt and pepper to your taste. Serve with squishy bread.

Or if you feel very posh some cubes of feta cheese.

 Roasted Pumpkin Seeds

Now don't you throw away that gloop from the middle of the pumpkin, mix with some cold water and skim the seeds from the top onto a kitchen towel. 

Lay the seeds onto dry baking tray, and sprinkle with salt and pepper.

 Bake on gas mark 5 for about 20 minutes or until golden brown. They could do with a shake in the middle of the time. Then you these little beauties.

Which of course you eat instead of your children's Trick or Treat chocolate, won't you?

The Damson Gin can wait for another post, I've got soup to eat.

Happy Samhain, Blessed Be.

Amanda.x.

Happy Birthday Little Sis

Happy Birthday Barbara.

Today is my little Sisters birthday, I don't often tell her this but here go. 

Sis you're cool, and here's why.

* You're very clever, graduating from Physiotherapy degree First with Honours.
* You're brave, climbing big hills and flinging yourself down them wearing stupid skis(I don't like skiing).
* You've got a cute (don't tell him he'll get a big head) Irish boyfriend, who you can drink under the table.
* You're a great Auntie, even though my children terrify you.
* You own your own house before you're 30.
* You were stuck with an old ladies name and made it cool.
* You got the job you wanted, in the place you wanted, and kick ass there.
* Everyday my Daughter does something that reminds me of you, and it's funny.
* You love dressing up stupid (admit it you do).
* You have a great mantra for life that I use everyday, but I think it was probably mine first:

"smile and the world smiles with you, frown and you frown alone"

We didn't get on really well as children as our age difference didn't work well, and I was a moody teen but I'm very glad we're friends now.

Happy Birthday Chick.

Love Amanda.x.

Harry's Rocks Coastal Walk - Dorset

This was our walk along the coastline towards Harry's Rocks, it was quite a long walk for the kids, but they did a great job.

  We had some true British holiday beach weather but as usual it didn't stop the children having fun.

My Hubby Stu made his mark by leaving some amazing balanced stones behind us.

We were amazed to see people walking across this tiny strip of chalky land to get to the bigger rock, not something I was going to risk.

I think is was as close to the edge as we got but some people were sitting with their legs dangling over, this was a lovely walk and well worth seeing but with 4 small children and 2 dogs my anxiety levels were quite high  while the edge was in sight.

Happy and safe holidays,

Amanda.x.

Durdle Door Coastal Path - Dorset

This is part of the Coastal walk in Dorset called Durdle Door, the walk to this place is not an easy one but you claim the prize for walking down steep steps of a uncrowded and beautiful beach.

We had a great time looking for crabs, shells and fossils on beach, Maisie found a little one which made her day, below is a good example of Purbeck Rock which is created when pieces of rock shifted thousands of years ago.

There was a area of stones on the beach which were all this colour, apparently caused when a large iron deposit is under the ground sweeping into the water.

Four little coastline adventurers, I can't wait till next as we've already booked to go here again.

Happy holidays, 

Amanda.x.