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14 January 2011

Guilty as charged.

When I first told people I was pregnant with Maisie I was amazed at the information, books, personal stories and hearsay everyone to pass on. Some of these were most welcome, however a lot was very outdated (well maybe not!) and dangerous.  The one thing I was never told was about the guilt, in fact that doesn't do it justice, THE GUILT. It starts from the moment you find out of course; like "oh I wish I hadn't that glass of wine when I was 2 weeks pregnant" to "I'm destroying my children's lives by not affording that toy", well I never said THE Guilt was reasonable.
Now I like to think I'm a laid back parent, I took in all the advice, books etc and then mostly did my own thing.  The times when I listened to others such as trying he Contented Baby book (it was thrown over my wall onto train tracks) or getting Maisie separate jabs because of MMR worries, left me stressed even more that I was failing as a Mother. I know this seems like a rant, and well it is because I'm sure it's not just me who feels THE GUILT, but today I saw this article all about how we've yet again been doing it all wrong.
When I had Maisie I was told not to wean her till 6 months and that I must exclusively breastfeed her till 6 months(you were made to feel very bad if not yet more guilt, now as she was 9lb 6oz at birth by 3 months she was starving I just couldn't feed her enough, my heath visitors advice - get her on milky weetabix and porridge, ignore all books and go with your instinct. Maisie as thrived ever since, but what about her brother Lucas, a little wee thing of 6lb 10oz, he didn't want to entertain solids till after 6 months, so have I destroyed his life? I think not. I think that I followed my instincts and needs of my child, rather than being dictated to and knowing this means I will not let myself feel THE GUILT over this subject, I did what was right for each of my children.

However just as I start to feel on top of motherhood let me tell you of a conversation I had with Maisie on the way to school.
Mummy: Oh dear I forgot to put your gloves in your bag.
Maisie: Oh dear, you're not a very good Mummy are you?
THE GUILT returns....

Is it me or does everyone feel it? Hugs to parents everywhere, you're doing a great job.
Happy weekend


  1. Anonymous15/1/11 13:23

    I think it very much depends on the child so balls to the books. Each child is different and the rules that you are "meant" to follow are so arbitrary that they just won't work in a lot of circumstances. I object to the insinuation that having a baby means that your instincts, common sense and knowledge end up getting left at the door. Leaving you doubting yourself and feeling guilty.

    God, this winds me up!

  2. I don't think I've done anything right as a parent but (apart from the blazing teenage-hormone-driven rows) things have worked out okay so far.

    Loki is an amazing young woman, very caring and intelligent with a very mature view of the world.

    Doubt I'd change a thing!


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