What's my style? #BEDM

I have a confession to make, in April I turned 37 and I still don't feel I have any personal style.  I've worked in a clothes shop for 10 years now and help people dress and feel more confident, but I can't do it for myself. I know what clothes I like but they never look or feel right on me, I never really feel like me; this is more a problem in my thinking than in how I actually look.  It's been a problem from my teenage years, having been bullied at school for not having trendy clothes or wearing the right brands, it always weighs on my mind when I choose now; leaving me to pick things I think people would like rather than what I really want. I'm quite good at hiding my style stress but find it's getting worse as I get older, I just want to feel confident for a change. 
This weekend I had the joy of attending Blogtacular, a blogging conference in London, and before I went ended up stressing about clothes, image etc... I shouldn't have worried as while there I met the loveliest, bunch of accepting people there ever was. As soon as I entered all my worries eased away.  I'll talk about the whole experience in another post, but I while there I learnt some great advice from some great speakers and business women.
DON'T "SHOULD" YOURSELF DO IT YOUR WAY GO EASY ON THE COMPARISON 

Photograph courtesy of MollieMakes

#healthylife

So as a birthday gift to myself I joined the gym, now I won't lie this is something I've done before and then weeks later just not found the time to go. So what's different now? 

I find myself at 37 overweight, currently the heaviest I've ever been(including when 9 months pregnant) and feeling the strains this puts on my body. In the past few years I've had back problems (after a bad fall) headaches and diagnosed with asthma all of which has taken it's toll on a body with quite a sedentary lifestyle. Don't get me wrong I like to move, walk everywhere, enjoy swimming and running around after my children; but now that's just not enough. 

I've long been an advocator of body confidence for all no matter the size and shape, but there's a difference between curves/healthy, and overweight/ailing. So here I go at a start of a new challenge. 

The gym I joined is Curves which has a great ethos and is very supportive, I found previous gyms very confusing and daunting but here a feel looked after and get one to one training every time I go. I've been weighed and measured and have begun my training program and will start the complete Meal plan in May.
All my updates around this journey will be tagged #healthylife because I hoping that's where this will lead.

A,B,C to a Fabulous Me.

In a bid to boost my confidence & discover the true girlie me within I have enrolled in  

Lottie Loves…Finishing School

The A-Z of how to be Feminine and Fabulous

The aim of my Finishing School Workshop is to give you the opportunity to try out some of the things I have tried and tested in order to turn around my low self-esteem, confidence and body confidence.  I really hope what I have learnt can help other women achieve the same and help you to be the feminine and fabulous ladies we all deserve to be - Lottie.

A for for Attitude

The challenge is to think about what makes you happy about yourself.

I love that at 20 I married the man I love, it hasn't always been easy adapting to sharing your whole life with someone(I'm probably a pain in arse to live with) but this year we celebrate our 13th wedding anniversary & I feel incredibility proud to have made this level of commitment to one person, he makes me feel incredibly special everyday.

I love that I have a supportive network of family & amazing friends, I have a lot less friends now than when I got married but the ones I have are now true friends. Our lives have changed greatly over the years but we're all there for each other when needed.

I love that I have talents. I have the gift of making things with my hands & was lucky enough to have women in my life early on to show me these crafts, and due to amazing friends I've had the confidence in the last year to set up my own business selling items I make using these skills. 

I also have the gift of the gab, and freely admit it, I'll talk to anyone, people are interesting & lead fabulous lives so why not find out about them? I can fit into any social situation & make a contact, a skill I'm only now understanding the real power of.

I love that I'm a mummy and that I managed to bring 2 amazing children into the world, every day they discover something new & beautiful around them, and through them I rediscover how the little things in life are what makes us happy not having stuff & money but time with your family & friends.

And lastly and mostly due to Stuart,Maisie & Lucas I love the person I'm now becoming. I had many issues growing up and hated the figure I had, always being bigger than my friends & never seeing any positives in myself(the below picture was taken several years ago & I'd had a bit to drink to pose like this) but this year I think a change has occurred & given my body the respect it deserves. 

After all its a bloody amazing thing it takes me through life everyday, its healthy, & yes I have stretch marks and a jelly belly but I grew 2 children in there, so I'm proud of it and feel more confident in the way I hold myself. 

I think this happy understanding of my own body breeds confidence in the rest of my life now, this year has definitely become one of goals but more importantly for me I know I've got the confidence to meet them.

Thank you Lottie,

Amanda.x.