Lucas David Ryan-A birth story.

Today is my son Lucas' birthday, he has turned 3 or in his words "Big Boy now" and this is his birth story.

When I found out I was pregnant for the second time I was excited but also full of worry.  

However these are normal worries, and my pregnancy went great to start with, but it also felt completely different  I wasn't sick just felt it, I ached all over, felt grumpy and was exhausted constantly.  

I joked that I must be having a boy, as it was causing me trouble already.  

At my 20 week scan it turned out I was right.

We went through the usual processes at this time, thinking of names (I'm a One Tree Hill fan, shh don't tell Stuart), trying to explain to Maisie why Mummies tummy was getting bigger, trying to sell our house upon the realisation that a small 2 bed house maybe a tight squeeze(we managed there for another 3 years) and figuring out how money would stretch.

However another problem began that made these issues pale in comparison, at a routine midwife meeting at about 6 months they measured my bump as usual but it was coming up too big. I worried my baby would be huge as Maisie was no small potato at 9lb 60z , and your second is meant to be bigger.

I gave extra blood samples and was booked in for another appointment a week later. However at that appointment with a different midwife I measured small, very small. Much confusion followed, they got a second midwife to measure me, I was told to go for a walk and come back to do it all again, it was still small. 

The midwife took blood samples and I was booked in for a scan at hospital.

I was about 7 months pregnant when I had my next scan, it was lovely to see my little child on the screen again and to me he looked just fine, but no the hospital said he seemed too small, I was devastated and blamed myself, it must have been that glass of wine I had or not eating the right foods.

So many ways to blame yourself.

I was sent for a blood cord scan in the maternity unit a week later, where the midwife told me me everything was okay, and although my baby looked skinny he was in fact lanky and was looking grand and made me another appointment at scanning unit for 2 weeks later, told me not to worry and sent me on my way.

Ahh big sighs of relief, until at that scan I was told yet again that my baby was going to be small, I'd planned a home birth but was advised that I would be unsuitable as baby would probably need an incubator. They had no conclusions as to why he was small, I was still exhausted all the time (ahh you see it all so clearly in hindsight) but trying to eat right and rest even with another child to chase round. I was sent for another cord scan, cord and placenta was fine, midwife told me she didn't understand what they were talking about, yes my bump was measuring small but on the scan Lucas measured up fine. We were left not knowing what to believe. We had two different departments telling us two different things, and no one else to turn too.    

The consultants I saw recommended I was induced as they felt something was hindering his growth but couldn't figure out what, and he's grow better on the outside. His was the thing I dreaded yet again an other induction, a forced birth but this time with a baby that they said would be about 41/2-5 lbs max.

My induction went exactly as it did with Maisie, a long drawn out process to speed up a birth unnaturally, great fun, not. I did feel more in control this time though, and felt more confident to move birth positions. The whole process, started at 2pm was done by 8.30am the next morning.

I'm very grateful for my lovely midwife who knew I wanted out of hospital after the birth as quick as possible, so when I was in the last stage and completely lost it begging for pain relief just nipped my leg and told me I'd feel better, I did, I thought I'd had diamorphine. 

 Lucas was born 2 minutes later and I wasn't knocked out with drugs, I was wide awake and feeding what turned out to be a 6lb 11oz lanky boy, I wonder how big he would have been had he had 2 more weeks inside.

I really wished the midwife's years of experience was taken over the judgement of a consultant.  

I didn't care I had my beautiful baby, who was safe and well and I was introducing him to Maisie 3 hours later while having bacon butties at my in laws. Look at those skinny long legs.

 About 3months after his birth I went to my GP, I was still exhausted I know 2 children, family and home to deal with, but I just didn't feel right. She checked my notes and the first question she asked was what iron supplements are you taking? Well none I said, she disappeared into her notes again. Apparently the last tests taken at the midwife clinic showed I was very low in iron(the hospital had never received these results) but previous tests showed I was fine so they went on these results.  I was never asked for more. My levels were that low she was surprised I'd not been required to go to hospital, she was really shocked to find I'd given birth while that anaemic, she gave me iron tablets and felt grand and strong again in a matter of days.  I wish this problem had been sorted earlier, maybe I'd have had a whopper of a boy, maybe I'd have felt stronger and more positive in my post pregnancy period.
However I can't complain, look at my beautiful boy, he's amazing and I'm thankful he joined my family.

I love you Lucas.x.

From Mummy.

Not all pregnancy's have a happy outcome.  I was reminded of this when Stuarts cousin lost her unborn baby girl at 9months, the sadness of this event and the effect it will have on their lives is truly heartbreaking, nothing will ever make up for their missing child.

 However there are ways to support the families who go through this loss, Sands is a stillbirth and neonatal death charity, giving support to those affected by the death of a child, helping health professionals offer correct support and researching the causes of stillbirth.  

It gets no government support, relying on just donations to keep this amazing group going. 

Mia Giggle's page is here if you wish to donate http://www.justgiving.com/miagiggle

Thank you.x.

Moving moving moving...

Well it's almost a month since my last blog, and I've not had time or Broadband connection to write, because I've moved house. Not in a very well planned way but in a messy, drawn out and confuddling way(more on that in a later post) leaving me mentally and as people keep finding the time to tell me, physically shattered.
I will explain and catch up soon, there's very exciting new in with the messiness.
Until then I'll leave you with a random stomping Owl, I figure this is how I look most days at the minute.

Picture from The Telegraph Picture of the Day

Thank you 

Amanda.x.

Seven Things You Don't Know About Me

I have been tagged in a meme by Claire  my Sister-in-law on her blog to write 7 things that you don't know about me. I'll then tag some interesting people I know, and so the loop extends...


1. My Maiden name was Pinguey (ping-ee) strange eh! and was the constant joy of the school bullies. However I'm really proud of the name, as you grow and have children it makes you step back and look at where you came from.  My family has been traced back to a French monk living at Holme Cultram Abbey, and set up as a farmer when Henry VIII dissolved the monasteries.


2. Unlike Claire I'm not scared of cows, and have actually milked a few in my time. My formative years were spent living on my Grans farm, which has now been sold off and turned posh houses I can't afford to buy, I have many wonderful memories from the farm which was also haunted so those people may have bought more than they bargained for.


3. My Dad is a Paranoid Schizophrenic,  it had a huge effect on my family. And left me with some twisted phobias including medical/hospital buildings including the dentist (it's the smell), seeing feathers poked in the ground, wary of fires and wary of any one else I know to have mental issues. This makes me feel bad as I know it's an illness and nothing they can do can change it but it still makes me on edge.


3. I'm a very crafty person(you probably do know this about me)I think it's an inherited gene my Grandma Pinguey knit, crocheted, sewed , baked, made rag rugs and anything else that took her fancy.  My Nana Green was the Head Chef for Border TV(local channel) for years and could bake the most amazing and huge cakes.


4. I was brought up Roman Catholic, when I was confirmed I choose Bernadette my Nana Green took my Mum, Sister and I on a pilgrimage to Lourdes, it was an amazing experience. I went to Nevers where her glass coffin is laid out, and to the actual grotto where they covered the hole she dug in glass, but you see where her fingers dug in the clay. Even though I'm not a practising Catholic I am still inspired by her story and have a photograph of her laid out in my sewing box.


5. I'm a film and TV geek, I used to love horror films but after having children they don't have the same appeal. The list of programs I watch is too extensive to list here but most are supernatural, sci fi or crime based. And I think that if zombies attacked I would survive, I have a plan.


6. I have a strange and electric mixture of music on my computer, Nina Simone is always my favourite for lifting the spirits but I'm also currently listen too Styx, Flaming Lips, Bad Company, Queens of the Stoneage, Dropkick Murpheys, Timo Mass, John Spencer Blues Explosion, Pixies, Sheryl Crow, Johnny Cash and AC/DC. What can I say I like variety in my life.


7. I have had many jobs in my life, starting at 14 when I used to clean holiday homes in Windermere, I then worked in a pub, Kwik Save, another pub, restaurant, BHS, pub, Wife, Border Fine Arts, pub, hotel, Barista for Costa, mystery shopper, pub, on a make up counter for Benefit, Floor manager for Monsoon, Mummy, and setting up my own business. 


So people I've shown your mine what you got...

@MhairiMcGhie
@_inmylife 
@blottedcopybook 
@seasparkle_x
@meridianariel


Love Amanda.x.

Queen of Procrastination

So after weeks of illness(mine), Christmas, illnessMaisie), New Year, illness(Hubby) and back to work I've had no crafty mojo spare. However I've suddenly been inspired to do all these lovely things.

Watch Maisie create her first embroidery, it was a alien but could now be a robot, or maybe a bird.

 Start on a great big hexagon Granny blanket.

 Begin a Ripple children's blanket.

 Make some more Granny centres.

 Play with the Jelly roll I got for Christmas, what a lovely selection of fabric.

 And re-pot my chilli plants that we grow from seed last year.

All these are a creative way of procrastination, as what I should be doing is my Tax Return.

Amanda.x. 

And time ticks on

Today is my beautiful baby boys FIRST birthday, I truly feel that I've lost months somewhere along the line because that went way too fast.

And along with the happiness of this event is the guilt which seems to go hand in hand with motherhood, the thoughts of not wanting to go back to work, to be away from him & Maisie his sister, the "what ifs" and the "never good enoughs.", The "am I giving you enough?" but then I'm reminded of our bedtime reads and to calm the beasts you simply have to say"shh, be still" and stare it in the eye, and control is restored.

So at the beginning of your second year Lucas my promise to you is to just enjoy the times of being still, and enjoying what we have because that really is the best anybody can do.

I Love You, my sweet boy.

Food, Family & Frugality.

Lately I've been distracted, not by beautiful beads for a change, but by food & family life, I find myself thinking more about my growing children, our health as a family, standards of living, money(or lack of it, maternity leave takes a lot out of your budget), our impact on the environment & the example we, as parents are setting for our children.

These are some unpalatable facts for you, that stick in my mind.
* The average household throws away between £15,000-£24,000 in a lifetime about £610 per household each year, more if you have 4plus people in your home, but it's still the same if you're a single household due to supermarkets not taking into account single person portions.
* Food waste is increasing at a rate of 15% every decade.
* Of the 6.7tonnes of food thrown away every year in the UK 4.1 million tonnes is unopened & untouched. Of this, 340,000tonnes is still 'in date'.
This is largely due to a lack of meal planning, but also or over supply, 1.2 million tonnes of waste is just the leftovers on our plates.
* Around 20% of our climate change emissions are related to the production, processing, transportation and storage of food, but we are throwing away a third of all the food we buy.
* When disposed of in landfill, food waste releases Methane ,a relatively damaging greenhouse gas, and Leachate, a toxin capable of considerable groundwater pollution.

These leave me with an uneasy feeling that although the recession we've being trudging through has been horrible for some, it may be an eyeopener for other households about their consumption, & help them make better choices for their family's that would have otherwise never have occurred to them.

So my first decision was to make a bigger effort to plan out our meals, & therefore our weekly shop should be easier to budget & cut out wastage. I'd had these beautiful meal planner sheets designed by Futuregirl (and free to download) hanging around my kitchen for a while, but was stuck at the thought of organising meals to include a 3year old & 10 month, it didn't seem that easy to make food suitable for all, or to plan meals giving usable leftovers.

Then I was given the Complete Family Meal Planner by Annabel Karmel, now I'm not a bad meal mum but do get stuck in a rut for exciting food to feed my children that maybe Hubby & I would also enjoy. This book is full of ideas, and whats more they are quick, simple, healthy and inexpensive to make. Using this book & some old favorites such as The New English Kitchen(great for leftover planning) I now have my first plan of action. I'll be adding family/home hints and tips all week, feel free to add your own I'll be interested in reading them, and any recipes will be gratefully received I may even review them here.

What next karma?

I must have been a very bad person in a former life because Karma as been laying it on thick this week, and seems certain I will not get any craft work done or update my shops.
Maisie ended up spending a whole day in hospital with a random rash, the washer dryer broke, tha car is breaking(strange noise from exhaust), Lucas is teething, nether of them are sleeping therefore nither am I and this morning my boiler broke so i've got no heating or hot water.
Please let the next week be better.
Above is a calming picture for a uncalming time.